Until Now

Sitting under the freakin cold air-conditioner with my half dead lappy in front of me. I'm trying to figure out what am i suppose to do and questions that i gonna ask for the morning's site visit. Looking outside the open window staring at my 2 dogs lying on the ground after chasing each other like crazy. Memories always barge in and it always turns up when i am down to "moodless" status. Thinking of nothing, doing nothing and i will just answer whatever question NOTHING! Then, i thought of the past.

Once again, after a long time of absence from my current past recalling activity. I decided to blog about how i survived. Is survive the word? whatever~

Pain, pain, pain and again PAIN! i had in the past. PAIN - happiness = Still Pain. Everything in the world is equilibrium. It just depends on which angle you see it and how you do it.

To me, I survived with the help from others. They might not realize it but i must say that without them, I might be watching over you guys on top or bottom i don't know for about 3-4 years since the last time i decided to JUMP!

Went through a lot on my own, trying to survive and hold on to myself. I shout, I cry, I bang, I run and i did everything that i am capable of to get rid the nasty things on my mind. I did it all alone, no parents, no brother nor sister and yeah i do have some friends ^^.

My life was miserable i must say and i know i'm not the worst. I'm just saying and i'm not gonna compare because i know i'll lose. SooooOoOo, yea my life was kinda miserable. I hated my so called big house, I hated the lack of strictness at home i hated almost everything.

I told myself that life has gotta change and i need to find a way. I did whatever i can, i joined direct selling and now i can say i totally lost few k's there which really is a misfortune. But throughout the process i learned a lot.

Life has gotta CHANGE! I met few guys, given advises and i met this girl. I took the advises, i tried my best but it wasn't enough. I then choose to learn how to commit to this girl.

From there i have to be patient i have to be a little daring a little more caring, I JUST HAVE TO DO MORE THAN BEFORE. I saw a change of myself when i looked in the mirror. My life turned 270 degrees and i just have to do more to finish the whole turn.

I made mistakeS, you can see how big is that S. Meaning, i made LOTS of mistakes. I was given chances and i can say i am stupid enough to screw it up all the time. Again and again i said i'll wait but again and again i kept on pushing. I was so into this relationship thing i forgot one thing. The most important thing which is, As Long As She Is Happy I'm Willing. But, i must say i think she's not quite happy with the pushing and stuff. Sorry? =p

I gotta chill, wait like i promised when the date was still 14/02/2010. Its been half a year since you came into my world and may be i'm getting a little impatient nowadays. Well, my bad and i will make a change. Just tell me when it is too much, Just say "Not Now"? or you can just slap me in the face and give a crucial heart breaking rejection.

SoooOOoo.. I need to wake up at 630! OMG! 3.15 =_= ... Goodnight! Guess i'm back! Bloggin is my life? Heheehhee~

Blessing to Mom and Dad, Aug and Viv, Mar, HuiGor, Ma, Little Sis and ZhinG
-I love You-